Accept the person, reject the behaviour, how many times have I told myself that? I think one of my lessons in this life is to learn how to deal with selfish people. People who don’t understand the concept of conversation, the taking of turns. You know how you bump into someone who you know, and you’re quite pleased to see them, so you ask how they are? You listen for ten minutes, realise you’re late for something and say goodbye. Then you realise that whoever it is hasn’t asked a single thing about you.
Or the ones who get in touch when they have troubles, knowing you’re a good listener. You go round, let them cry on your shoulder, until they feel better, but you’re totally drained. Then don’t hear from them for months.
Do we all have these people in our lives? Or is it just me? Perhaps it’s my role.
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Yes – I know several people like this! (Sometimes I think I attract them.) Once, though, I got so frustrated with the way a friend just keeps talking and talking that I started talking too, instead of waiting for her to pause. To my surprise, she listened to me and answered what I said! So maybe it’s just that I don’t understand how to pick up their conversational cues…
She must have been shocked!
Yup. Certainly do know people like this and feel sorry for their narrow, self-absorbed lives. Is it something you can outgrow with a conscious effort, do you think?
Most of the time I just smile inwardly but occasionally . . .
I guess we all do
Yes, they are everywhere!
Me too, Gilly. These “it’s all about me” people really irritate me, but when they’re family, there’s no escaping them.
Oh dear that’s horrendous, big hugs!
Hugs back to you, Gilly.
We must travel in the same circles. Some people just believe they are more important then others. It’s sad really.
That’s exactly it and they are the ones that lose out.
it irritates me a little as well. I know that these days [because I don't like when people do that to me] I try to make sure I make the effort to close my mouth and listen
I’m sure you’re good at both talking and listening Jo.
I am trying to get better at the listening part as I do tend to get a little carried away…can you imagine that…hehehehe
i used to have people around like that but not for some years … i think it is me … i know how to break off those conversations and move along …. too much to do and lots of help to give in other places now
Generally I can too, but in some areas of life it’s harder.
i agree … sometimes it takes me a while to get a craniosacral out the door … he he!
Some people are better at it than others… my wife is like that, every one comes to her with their problems and forget to ask about her cancer problems… she is blessed in helping others and sees it as such… I’m not a good listener, you are, take it as a blessing you have been given… I think its magic that some of you can help others out like that… good on you…
I’m sorry to hear about your wife, she needs her friends support not self centredness. Take care both.
OMG … I could have written this one, Gilly. I feel like my shoulder on one side of my body has melted from all the tears people have left on there. I never know how to feel afterwards when the phone goes dead. Lots of questions come up in me as a person. On the other hand, I guess it’s a good thing. I am trying to have boundries, then, feel guilty about them. I suppose nice people will be rewarded one day – just not now – that must be the lesson.
Namaste ….
Yes, it’s all about time isn’t it? do as you would be done by
I guess we all have these kind of people, Gilly
You too? yes except the ones who do it
Oh yes – me too!
I have these people in my life as well. The better half and I were talking about this weekend and how some people can be so clueless about those around them. Like you, I try my best to ignore the bad and look for the good. Not always easy.
Gilly, I have ceased wondering why I am always doing things for people including lending money to those in need who come aborrowing, only for me not to be ever paid and yet I never get help when I need it. The issue wiht the money is so serious that sometimes I give out before realising that I have given away my last penny, literally.
And in Ghana there will always be needy people who think that you are wealthy. I find on my travels that if you come from the UK, people think you must be rich, but have no idea how hard it is for someone like me to save to travel anywhere, or that my monthly electricity bill is £45!
Hahaha, oh yes! One ‘friend’ in particular used to do this, when I woke up to the fact I began to greet her with ‘My goodness, you look well! Life must be good at the moment.’ She soon moved on to someone else. The problem is that we don’t always see it coming………
That’s a good tactic I might be able to use that on some people!
Go prepared – and let me know how it works
I’ve had a few of these over time but now am clear of the headaches they brought.
I was wondering only today why so many of my ‘friends’ think I have an infinite capacity of take on their burdens …
Don’t you sometimes feel like you should get a couch and charge for the psychotherapy?