Julia’s little treat this week is the prompt ‘there’s a real buzz about this place’, as usual I’m a little off the wall but here goes.
A Chance to Dance
So many nationalities. I’m the only one from Pakistan. My friends back home have dared me. ‘Don’t travel all that way and do as you do at home’ said Jamila. ‘Taste the alcohol and come back and tell us about it, let your hair down’, from Rashida and Yasmin together. It’s my last night and I haven’t done anything radical, nothing that Ammi would be ashamed of, but there’s a real buzz about this place and I may never get another chance. This Niqab is coming off now; I’m going to dance with a man who can see my face.
There will be lots more entries to read over at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/06/11/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week45/
What an interesting piece; I love the last line- ; I’m going to dance with a man who can see my face. The wealth of cultures across the world truly is something to celebrate and be proud of.
And to explore thsoe cultures is a delight!
The last line really brings it all together. Well done.
Thanks, I’m glad you like it!
Brilliant! I can feel the excitement and how wonderful that the buzz was a positive. Thank you sp much for sharing.
Thanks Julia, your challenge is inspiring!
i really love your writing gilly, always a surprise, so much that catches the imagination and transports the reader, this one gives me goosebumps, well done again
And I really treasure your comments Christine, thank you
Nice! I like the narrator’s spirit. If you can’t try new things in a strange place, when can you?
i agree and when I travel I’m much braver!
Brilliant as always.
Dear Elizabeth you are generous as always! thank you
TY Gilly and, as one blog sister to another, I hope I haven’t offended you? You stopped visiting… I know we are all busy and overwhelmed (at least I’m overwhelmed) but I hope it’s not something I said.
Cheers!
Must be an unforgettable dance. Love the story. Exciting, concise, adventurous, even with a sense of thrill. Made me think about, “not missing the dances that life gives us.” We all need to let loose sometimes, to be spontaneous, to feel happy and free. Thanks.
http://thismansjourney.net/2012/06/13/weekly-image-of-life-happiness/
Thanks so much ,I love your visits!
Oh this was fabulous. So full of excitement and surprise and defiance of authority. The last lines were great. Please let me know if you already have or are planning to pen a novel ….. and when you are published! There was so much joy and thrill in the narrators voice!
Bless you! I have started a novel but it won’t be done for years if ever! I’ve hardly thought about publication but i have a flash fiction in print
Wonderful piece, Gilly. The excitement and anticipation in that last sentence is tangible.
You’re so kind thank you
Wow, the unveiling to let one’s hair down! Thanks for letting us in on it!
Hahaha I’m glad yo liked it
Brilliant! Did not expect anything less
You could almost know her Madhu
Dance away, Gilly. A fine story.
Thanks Celestine,any excuse to dance!
Excellent ~ the twist in the tale was unexpected, as I was assuming the narrator was a man. You really do think ‘outside the box’, Gilly – congratulations!
That’s a lovely thing to say, thanks honey
This is a scene that must be played out a lot these days. Very nicely written.
I really hope so because the change is needed!
I loved this. You really captured the sense of her wanting to try new things and being held back by traditions/upbringing/conscience/fear etc and then finding the courage to let go. Fabulous!
Thank you, something close to this actually happened!
Very creative. Good job again, Gilly.
Thanks Sandra, it turned out to be quite a fun one to write!